“Well, I don’t care what other people think of me!” Ever heard someone say this? Was it true? Can they really take all positive and negative feedback without it causing an emotional response which they act upon?
How about if someone says to you “your work is rubbish and your personality sucks” or “I love what you do and can see you only want what is best for the people and world around you”. You would prefer the second quote, right?
Of course you would! It’s completely ‘normal’ to feel angry and hurt about the first quote and say something in your head or out loud to checkmate that negative comment. It’s completely ‘normal’ to get a buzz from the second quote and to give yourself an honorary pat on the back, isn’t it?
So, that person who doesn’t care what other people think, they would just rise above both comments as the self-belief they have is strong enough to go through life not reacting to other people’s judgement. If this is true then great as it is this non-attachment to feeling accepted by others that allows us to flourish.
In a recent blog post by one of my favourite inspirational writers, Mastin Kipp, he says:
“Sure, people judge. But the point is, SO WHAT? We can’t let the judgement of others stop us from shining our light.”
We can’t allow our mood or life path to be affected by other people’s judgements. Not only does this lead to an unfulfilled life and a block to following our dreams but it is also a ride on an emotional rollercoaster of stress, anxiety and fear that you may never get off.
Be proud to stand out! In fact, use the negativity of another to motivate you to try even harder to achieve your goals. Connect with yourself in times of self-doubt and look inward for the reassurance and guidance you need to move full steam ahead. Your inner guide tells you all you need to know and let’s face it, it knows you a heck of a lot better than anyone else does.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts, tips and experiences so feel free to join in the conversation by leaving a comment below. It is great to build up a dialogue and support for readers.
Loving you for you,
You know that feeling inside? The one you get when you hear bad news, have an argument or get hurt by another. It kind of nestles into your heart or your solar plexus and is literally a manifestation of this ‘thing’ that has just happened.
What do you do when this feeling strikes? Do you react/fight back? Do you dwell on this emotion and wonder “why me?”. Or, do you use this physical sensation to reveal some hidden wound or insecurity that this ‘not so nice’ situation has just ripped open? My guess is that your first reaction is to fight or dwell, right?
Here’s the thing, literally everything that happens in life can be used to learn more about that great mystery that is YOU! Your being is more than a spirit, a mind and a body. It is an infusion of all three that will show you all you need to know about life if you just listen.
Next time you feel a physical manifestation of an emotional pain (and this might be a constant feeling for some of you right now) don’t run away from it with your mind. Invite this feeling in and ask yourself some questions.
- Why has this situation caused me to feel this way?
- If I could give this emotion a name, what would it be?
- How do I really want to feel right now?
- What could I learn from this?
Writing down the answers to these questions will uncover a wealth of insight but even just saying them to yourself will help. Try to avoid the external projection of “it’s their fault” etc and internalise this emotion. Only here will you find the answers you need.
The outside world is simply a projection of your internal landscape so do the work here and leave the rest to reveal its potential.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts, tips and experiences so feel free to join in the conversation by leaving a comment below. It’s great to build up a dialogue and support for readers.
Sending loving lessons,
This is a HUGE topic for me and I am going to be honest right from the start, it is not something I always find easy and I have been procrastinating over this particular blog post for some time. With it being the new year I felt it was the right time to put pen to paper over this so please be kind 🙂
Being nonjudgmental and accepting people for who they are without trying to change them is a clear aim for all of us, right? But what if something comes up that just really doesn’t feel right? What if someone says or does something that is just completely against what you feel is right? And even more, what if trying to accept this ‘thing’ makes you go against your own beliefs and instincts and makes you feel uncomfortable inside?
Well, the obvious answer would be send this person or scenario lots of love and go your separate ways.
That was easy … NOT! Sometimes these situations arise in your workplace, family, friends or business relationships and there is just no way to simply remove yourself from what is slowly becoming a rather toxic environment.
Ta-dah … this is when the magical ‘acceptance’ siren goes off in your head but you realise this is pushing your levels of acceptance way out of your comfort zone.
So, what do you do?
If you just accept what is happening and continue to carry out the pleasantries then it feels like you are rather undermining your values and not standing up for your beliefs. It makes you feel like you aren’t being your authentic self in their presence.
The big conundrum is, not accepting them at all and putting up a fight every time you encounter them doesn’t sit well with you either and this actually makes life pretty miserable for you both.
There has to be a middle ground, a way to manage this uncomfortable situation whilst staying true to yourself until, well it just becomes a whole lot more comfortable … and it has to one day, right?
The trick is, how can we make this work for us rather than against us?
Well, I am outing myself here as this is a tricky one for me, but here goes:
- Try to find some common ground, there must be something you agree on or have in common?
- Realise that any hurtful behaviour is coming from some resistance in their heart so don’t retaliate as this will only close yours. Send them lots of love.
- See this as your greatest challenge yet. If you pride yourself on giving and loving then challenge yourself to beat the ego’s ‘pride’ and make it your aim to heal or help this person.
- Understand that this process is teaching and showing you things you need to learn so be grateful for this. Gratitude is one of the most powerful mind sets to be in.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and tips on this topic and I will leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson that inspired me to write this post:
“What’s difficult in life is to stay centred when somebody does or says something that tempts us to close our hearts because their heart was closed. That is hard. But that is also how we grow. We go through those circumstances in order to evolve into people who can hold on to our loving centre no matter what the world throws”
Love and acceptance for all that is,